REUNITED AND IT FEEEELS SO GOOOOD............THE BOYZ ARE BACK!!! RIGHT?!......RIGHT?!!!!!!..... Fuck all y'all. We were in a good mood and now you guys ruined it. Anyway, we're back after a hiatus and we missed each other and you guys. How have you been? Let's talk about you....... We'll never leave you again (until we're both too busy to do this podcast...........again) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this one your favorite two wormy, gross, cannibalistic, humanoid, underground, dweller dipshits ,"hit the vault" (is that a thing?.....sure) and dug deep to find a hidden classic! It was from last year and the references are outdated (but references from a day ago are outdated nowadays, ammirite?) We also called it "Back On My Bullshit", way back then but you'll get over it. We had to. Basically, its the same brand of horse jibber nonsense you've come to know and love but just called something else. It was either this or nothing........so stop complaining........I swear I'll take you back to your mothers if you're gonna keep acting like that!! We hope you enjoy. We're also sorry that we haven't been as consistent lately. We've been busy doing shit but we love this dumb thing and all of you so we'll be back at it soon. Toodles. Smooches. More shit like that P.S. we record this thing at a studio space and you can hear another band playing super shitty and LOUD the whole goddamn time. So, there's that..... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Michael Conrad and Noah Bailey talk with Mike about their new comic Double Walker, the Misfits, DIY, Twilight Zone and lots of discussion about trying to be an artist in the 23rd century Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're back with a guest and its Ben Roy. Ben defines the term, "multi-hyphenate". He's a stand-up comedian, actor, musician, podcaster and all around great human. Check out Bens band Spells, his podcasts, 97.9 THE RAT RACE or The Grawlix Saves the World, his tv show, "Those Who Can't", now streaming on HBOMAX or his new standup record, "Take The Sandwich", available wherever you stream shit. Ben basically stops by to rub all of that in Zach and Mikes dumb faces and make them feel stupid for being lazy sacks of shit. Its fuckin' rad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

onthisepisodeyourdipshithostsarelateandcouldntgettheirshittogethertointerviewaguestontimesotheyfuckeditallupandthenjustwentwithtalkingtoeachotherbeacusetheycantevendoafuckingpodcastright. Real fuckin' hard to do a goddamn podcast, huh? So, this one is late. And its just us....again. Shit happened. The week got busy. Blah, fuckin' blah. No good excuse We're sorry. We don't deserve you Please keep listening. -Zach and Mike (the pork and bean boyz) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today it's just Zach and Mike so.......(ahem) I see the crystal raindrops fall And the beauty of it all Is when the sun comes shining through To make those rainbows in my mind When I think of you sometime And I wanna spend some time with you Just the two of us We can make it if we try Just the two of us (Just the two of us) Just the two of us Building castles in the sky Just the two of us You and I We look for love, no time for tears Wasted water's all that is And it don't make no flowers grow Good things might come to those who wait Not for those who wait too late We gotta go for all we know Just the two of us We can make it if we try Just the two of us (Just the two of us) Just the two of us Building them castles in the sky Just the two of us You and I I hear the crystal raindrops fall On the window down the hall And it becomes the morning dew And darling when the morning comes And I see the morning sun I wanna be the one with you Just the two of us We can make it if we try Just the two of us (Just the two of us) Just the two of us Building big castles way on high Just the two of us You and I Just the two of us (We can make it, just the two of us) Let's get it together baby (yeah) (Just the two of us) Just the two of us (We can make it, just the two of us) (Just the two of us) (We can make it, just the two of us) (Just the two of us) (We can make it, just the two of us) (Just the two of us) (We can make it, just the two of us) (Just the two of us) (We can make it, just the two of us) (Just the two of us) ......you're welcome Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the Bizarro World Bacon Brothers get a chance to talk to Ryan Cownie. Ryan is an amazing standup comedian thats hailed from Los Angeles, Austin and Nebraska. They discuss massage chairs, long walks, flashbacks in movies, hanging out with your dad, being vegan, Leonardo DiCaprio and much, much more. Check out Ryans standup special, "I Cant Die" (Mike and Zach did the music) on Standup Records. Hey, can I borrow some money? I'm talking to you. Yes, you. I have this new dumb job and they're holding my check for a week, so fucking stupid. I'll get you back. I'm good for it. Or, I guess you can be a dick about it. Whatever. This is bullshit Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, our guest is the Grammy award winning producer, Stuart Sikes. Stuart has worked with such artists as Rocket From the Crypt, Catpower, John Spencer Blues Explosion, Jack White, Loretta Lynn, The White Stripes, A Giant Dog, The Riverboat Gamblers, Drakulas and much much more. We talk about Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Gallagher, mud bugs, old movie theaters, Lee Harvey Oswald, our disdain for sports (Mike says "golf stick"), how Zach and Mike are fancy boys and Zach comes up with a new catchphrase thats sure to sweep the nation. Stuart is surely slumming it on this one and lowering his standards by talking to your favorite deep fried, beer cheese and chili guys. Do you have a Grammy? I didn't think so.............bitch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We here at the Z&MM3 (we're too cool to spell it all out) haven't ran into too many other people that do what we do (bullshit artists) that we haven't yet met. But, as Ed MacMahon famously said, "I'm not paying that much for no stepped on shit, man! Come on, Jack!! I NEEEED IT!!! GIVE IT UP OR I'M GONNA FUCKIN' CUT YOU!!!!".........no, thats not it.......... it was, "strangers are just friends you haven't met yet", I don't know, some jackass crap like that. Anyway, this week we didn't know our guest, Nick Wheeler of The All American Rejects. Nick is a prolific writer and producer as well as guitarist in a huge band and we talk about being busy during COVID, Lego and the proper way to say LEGO (not LegoS, dipshit), television shows and Zach and Mike both contemplate each others deaths, but, like, in a fun way. Mike also manages to not embarrass Zach too much in front of their new friend (you can't take that guy anywhere). Its basically musicians talking about musician shit (the exact way we while away our lives in backstage rooms) so listen in and contemplate your place in this world........too much? I'm sorry. I've been listening to "This Mortal Coil", lately. I also haven't been wearing my crystal. I'm watching that "Moneyball" movie right now. It's pretty good. Seen it? I fuckin' hate sports Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we get a rare chance to sit down with Zach's bandmate, Tim Mcilrath , from Rise Against, in the second part of our, "Rise Against Roundup", YEEE-HAW!!!!.........no? Its my intro and I'll do want I want.........FUCK YOU!!! (runs away flailing arms) Tim and Zach have traveled the planet together for a long time now and have done a whole lot of cool shit with one another. They're also family and they both love to chat and shoot shit when they get together. Add Mike to that party shit gets RRRRRREEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLLLL..............actually, its just three musicians that have spent most of their lives on the road having a normal conversation but, I (clap)! AM (clap)! HERE (clap)! FOR (clap)! IT (clap)! HONEEEYYYYY!!!!! They talk about the new Rise Against album coming out June 4th, college, dogs and Tim somehow gets the two tater-tots with cheese boyz to talk about sports (no small feat). In all seriousness, Tim is an amazing person (as you'll hear) and musician. His genuine nature and overall dignified wisdom really contrasts with your hosts and just basically shows what hokey-pokey, okey-smokey, bucktoothed farthole, two-bit, sheep shit, boring, lazy, Patrick Swayze, mudhole stompin', Styx, chicken fried, cut-offs, flip-flops, mullet havin', knife weildin', small town gossipin', pimple poppin', gum smackin', lake draggin'. knife fight havin', threes company watchin', stupid name havin', premature baldin', cross eyed, jacuzzi water drinkin', weekend warrior, crooked lawyer, fedora wearin', over sharin', motor mouth, from the south, Don Knotts, Big Lots, jean shorts, pillow forts, Voldemort, Godsmack, Nickleback, give the dog a bone, dollar store, food stamp, leave that thing alone, cussin', fussin', diaper wearin', colicky, shitty, itty-bitty-titty-committee, cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, stupid, worthless, goddamn, freeloading sons of bitches, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk, (you forgot) ugly, lazy, disrespectful, "no dad, what about you!?", type of dipfucks that they are. Hope you like it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh boy, are you ever lucky?! This is one for the ages.......is that the proper nomenclature? Is that the proper word?.....nomenclature? .......Don't make a thing out of this. Lets move on.. Today we have Joe Principe from Rise Against in the first of two Rise Against episodes to commemorate the release of their new record ,The Nowhere Generation, coming out next week. If you've paid attention (you probably haven't), thats the band that one of your hosts plays in (guess which one). So much can be said about Joe, Zach has spent the last fifteen years traversing the planet with this guy but we'll let you listen in and see what you think. You won't be disappointed (or maybe you will, maybe you're an asshole. Who knows? I don't even know you. We can talk later, I'm in the middle of something right now) We talk about punk rock touring, booking your own fucking life, shitty day jobs, Danzig in Austin, rumors about Rod Stewart and Richard Gere (you know the ones) and Zach and Joe tell a lot of stories about their shared experience from being in a band together for the last 73 years. Oh, and Mikes new look gets attention, especially his pony tail. I hope Mike changes his name to "Pony Tail" or "Pony Mike" or..........just "Pony"? I don't know, it's fuckin' late Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not this shit again........is what you're probably saying because we don't have a guest....again. Well, turn that mouth away from south and point it north at.........I don't know......fuck this analogy. On this one the fabulous baked bean boiz really see each other and its deep, man. We introduce each other to some new music and TV shows. We discuss "THANK YOU!!" being a way to win an argument and Zach gets all nerdy about metal.......again (eye rrrrroooolllllllll). You know at the end of Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure when Abraham Lincoln breaks the fourth wall and looks right at YOU and says, "PARTY ON DUDES!!!" ? This is like that but, like, not. Think about that moment when you listen and you'll see what I'm saying. Or don't, FTW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the Duke boys have gotten themselves into another mess of shit (what if I just left it at that and didn't say anything else?) Today we have our lovely brother, Fadi El-Assad. Fadi was the founder of The Riverboat Gamblers with your host, Mike (he's the "Mike" in the Zach And Mike Make 3 Podcast. Isn't that exciting?!) We had a great talk and caught up with a family friend. We talk about UF0s, John Carpenter, Fadi's new music endeavors, Texas (natch) and, also, Mike can't stop rappin' like the rappin' granny that he is (where's the beef,amiright?!.......hello? am i talking to myself?.....whatever). this one is a slugfest shitshow and I AM HERE FOR IT,HONEY!!! You be too. Be here. You too. You as well. U2 (Bono). Listen to the episode. Please. Or don't. I guess I'll go fuck myself now (shrug guy emoji) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

DO YOU CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE TO PARTY?!?? I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!............................I mean, really, do you guys party? Oh, so you were lying before? See!? This is what I'm talking about! You're just telling me what I want to hear... such bullshit. The old, "we party", thing again! Figures!....typical.....I'm done, man. Fuck this. I'm gonna find motherfuckers that actually party...... slams door.... walks away like Bender at the end of The Breakfast Club... "Don't You Forget About Me", playing..... (scene) *ahem* Today we have a fantastic person, musician and great friend, (and Zach doppelgänger...doppelbanger) HUNTER BURGAN from the legendary, AFI!!! This is an excellent episode. We discuss horses, Threes Company, Rocky Balboa, the game that Zach and Hunter have been playing for years that basically consists of them pretending to be each other and it not working because they look exactly alike so its only funny to them (and annoying to everyone else) and also what color you'd go all-in on for your wardrobe choice if you were an eccentric billionaire (like us,natch) . You're not doing anything important with your life so check this shit out. Motherfucker  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this one the hamburglers take it all back to the beginning and go, "sans guest", and just talk amongst themselves. Their old family friend,Jeff Humper (his Christian name),makes an appearance as cohost (a first!) and things get funky . We talk boogie, booger, Conan the Barbarian, obscure synth albums and bringing back old sayings. Oh, and Zach will tell you how to properly say, "Dallas", as explained to him by a total dumbass. Don't miss it........or miss it, i don't really give a shit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Remember those crash test dummy commercials about seatbelt safety? Thats what your two hosts are like. So........like them, but with detailed knowledge of trivial things that wouldn't help anyone, ever. Yea, that's the best way to describe them.......anyway, those two get the chance to sit down with a guy they've called family for years on this episode, Mr. David Rodriguez! Dave is the current singer for The Casualties, Starving Wolves and former singer for, Austin legends, The Krum Bums. Your hosts can't remember a time when they didn't know Dave and we're fairly sure that everyone in the Austin punk scene would say the same thing. Dave is "one of the good ones" as anyone would say. We discuss punk-house crash pads, touring non-stop, changing your thinking patterns, art, Mark Mothersbaugh, working on a NASCAR pit-crew, writing yourself into a corner, Dave killing it as the new-ish singer for the Casualties and much, much more. Listen in and fall in love with Dave as everyone else that knows him already has. Oh, and your hosts say a bunch of dumb shit..... so, there's that. Don't be a dummy, buckle up (was that how it went?) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the flightless Burrito Brothers get an opportunity to sit down with the amazing and talented, Shawna Potter, vocalist for War on Women and author of, "Making Spaces Safer". The conversation, per the usual, goes into murky, uncharted territory and barely makes it back to the realms of coherence. What does lava, an octopus and bystander intervention have in common? (this isn't a joke but come up with a punch line to that and win a stuffed animal) TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!!! As Zach says in the interview, any time one gets a chance to talk to Shawna you leave that conversation knowing more and being better off for having paid attention. You're welcome Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today your two favorite Danny Zukos get a chance to sit down with Blake Ibanez from the amazing band, POWER TRIP!!! Blake is a kindred spirit, he loves music of all forms and he loves to discuss it. We talk about thrash metal, guitars with our names on them, biking, Fort Worth TX. and also the fact that his band got NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY THIS YEAR!! (which is a sore subject for Mike because he's been going on and one for years about how he was "snubbed" by the Grammys in 1985 for his "star making" (his words) guest verse on the Super Bowl Shuffle by the Chicago Bears. You can read all about it in Mikes autobiography, "Fancy Dancer/Fancy Pants(er)", which he self-published on the Next door app). Listen in and see if you're not as impressed with Blake as we are and, if you haven't already, go and check out Power Trip's newest record, "Nightmare Logic", wherever you get music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this one, the guys get to talk to Zach's big brother, Donivan Blair, author of the self-help/martial arts book, "Even If It Kills Me", and the bassist for the bands, The Toadies, Hagfish, Only Crime, Mag 7 and The Tulsa Dooms! Things turn into a mushy bro-down as the brothers get all brotherly and shit. We discuss Doni's Book, his career, his relationship to your favorite co-host (natch) and, as always, ask him his current three favorite things. Zach tries to impress his big brother but Doni ends up liking Mike more in the end (sad face). Check out Doni's book wherever you get books and his music wherever you find music (especially the stuff he did with Zach because Zach is cool/smart/rad). This episode explores and definitively proves (in Zach's case) the age old schoolyard epithet: "MY BIG BROTHER CAN BEAT UP YOUR BIG BROTHER!!!!!!!! (shaking fist) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a great episode even if we do say so our damn selves (brag much? eye roll emoji). The bullshit boiz sit down with an actual living legend and one of Zach's idols and family friends, Stephen Egerton, from the bands Descendents and All. They get to the nitty gritty and somehow manage to talk about board games (are you bored yet?....see what we did there?...board/bored....fuck you). Zach makes an idiot out of himself and talks too much and Mike is just high on life, man. Seriously, we're too lucky to have a moment of this wonderful man and amazing musicians time so we hope you enjoy. This one was recorded last year and recently updated so cut us some goddamn slack, ok? We're trying!! We're just a lonely podcast trying to make it out here in this damn crazy world. (drags cigarette, stares into mid distance, fade to black, fin ) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices